It’s Time to Drop the Act

You Can’t Cheer Away Fear

Can you remember the last time you were urged to take on a project that scared you? 

Or the last time you tried to persuade a teammate to overcome their fear?

What words of encouragement do you remember? 

I know you can do it!
Don’t think about it too much and do your best!
Sometimes you gotta face your fears!
You got this.

While you, your mentors, and co-workers all meant well, these encouraging phrases are not the way to help anyone outgrow their fears. 

Phrases like these are problematic because they:

1. Fail to recognize a person’s experience of fear and could be construed as ‘toxic positivity.’

2. Fail to account for conscious and subconscious beliefs and could further aggravate their defensive logic.

3. Fail to instill a sense of safety and could make a person feel more inadequate or isolated.

4. Fail to help imagine the outcome in more than one way and could inadvertently reinforce a very narrow margin for error.

So if you and your team are trying to outgrow your fears and navigate uncertainty at work, don’t try to convince them to be fearless.

Cultivate Psychological Safety

Pretending to be unaffected by fear is one of the most inauthentic choices a leader can make. 

It's like trying to sign your name in cursive with your non-dominant hand. People notice and it does not instill confidence!

A far more effective way to navigate these consecutive seasons of uncertainty is to cultivate psychological safety.

Psychological safety is a social or group-level phenomenon that arises out of countless interactions (e.g. conversations, observations, experiences, inferences, and deductions) that make people feel like:

My experience and perspectives are valid.
My presence and contributions matter.
My success and struggles are supported.

Cultivating psychological safety, however, does not require phenomenal talent or skill.  It requires curiosity...

So in these consecutive seasons of uncertainty, take moments to pause and ask yourself any of these 8 questions:

1. Am I willing to acknowledge the fear that's present?

2. What would it sound like to validate this emotional perspective?

3. What wisdom can I/we gain from this discomfort?  

4. What learning can I/we incorporate?

5. How can I/we accept what's not working?

6. How can I/we support what's still working?

7. How can I affirm and celebrate the risks I/we take?

8. No matter the outcome, how do I/we want to feel?

By turning your insights into conscious efforts and behaviors, you will steadily cultivate psychological safety for you and your team - in ways that help you all stay grounded, connected, collaborative, and innovative, no matter what life throws at you!