What to do when you’re feeling stuck...FEED ALPACAS!
In mid-July, my kids and I were restless and eager to bust outside of our four walls and find something new. Now, any parent will tell you that keeping activities fresh and interesting for young children is a challenge (my hats off to educators everywhere!) and I’d venture to say that keeping activities fresh and interesting for young children in month five of a global pandemic feels damn-near impossible!
Nevertheless, my daughters and I persisted…
We are fortunate to live in a place that offers a myriad of outdoor wonders...mountains, forest, and yes, a 42 acre alpaca farm.
But if this doesn’t sound like your situation, don’t fret. There is still a lot you can do to cultivate happiness, even during periods of “stuckness” - when you feel tense, frustrated, and options seem limited.
One of my favorite research scientists is Lori Santos, who teaches the renowned “Happiness” course at Yale. Her field of study confirmed that ‘pro social’ behaviors can actually help us connect with our basic human needs for Relatedness, Competence and Autonomy.
So what are ‘pro social’ behaviors?
Well, I like to think that feeding alpacas would fall under that header, but here are some other examples...
spending money on others
donating your time and effort to a cause
connecting with a stranger in the park
giving someone directions
buying coffee for the person behind you
completing a chore for someone less able
These kinds of efforts reward the giver with a “warm glow,” and at a deeper level, they help our brain remember that we already have the capacity to do good things with and for others.
When we feel related, we remember we are not alone.
When we feel competent, we remember we possess the ability to do something well.
When we feel autonomous, we remember we have the freedom to govern ourselves and the course of our lives.
So when you’re feeling down because you are just forking stuuuuuuuck - in your job, in your household, in a relationship, or more generally in Life - remember that offering what you can to others actually unlocks doors in the brain, doors to your own, phenomenal capacity.
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