Your ‘Enough’ Criteria
What is the opposite of abundance? I’ll give you a hint, it isn’t scarcity.
The opposite of abundance is in fact, no abundance, or the absence of abundance. It is an amount or measure one could also call ‘enough.’
If that set up sounds strange to you, another way of thinking about this is on a spectrum. On the one end you have abundance, on the opposite end you have scarcity. Where would ‘no abundance’ and ‘no scarcity’ fall on the line? Probably somewhere in the middle...though perhaps not in the exact middle, because ‘enough’ is subjective, but you get the point!
We live in a period of modern American history when many things are available in abundance. We’ve come to expect abundance, we browse abundance, and we consume abundantly. It is possible to engage with this abundance 24/7. A popular word for our interaction with abundance is binging, and we binge a lot of things that aren’t food, like news, Netflix, TikTok, productivity, feedback, social media, self care, griping, shopping, isolation, etc.
Of course, none of these things are inherently “bad,” but when we binge on the abundance, we max out the system. We max our systems - mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, chemically, etc. We bury our understanding of ‘enough’, as well as our physiological experience, under a ton of fill in the blank. And the more we binge, the more we tolerate imbalance, and the more we tolerate imbalance, the more we jeopardize our well-being.
We also try to restore our imbalance in abundant or excessive ways. We overcorrect or overcompensate by making some drastic and reactive change (e.g. quitting a job to stop chronic stress, testing a new dietary regimen to reset one’s self-image, etc.) And amidst this parabolic swing from abundance to scarcity, excess to deprivation, we forget what ‘enough’ feels like, we allow imbalance to become our ‘new normal.’
A frequent discovery in coaching is the client’s tendency to binge on productivity and problem solving: the sense that if one just works longer, harder or smarter they will achieve some optimal end or recognition, as though it is some fixed and dependable logic.
But is it? Is that really true?
I have heard countless tales of managers asking their direct reports to “take on a bit more,” and I have heard countless justifications from clients saying “I don’t think I have a choice.” Is that really true? Or is that, in itself, a kind of over-correction, a parabolic swing to the opposite end?
What if it weren’t 100% true, what variables might you find somewhere in the middle?
When overcorrecting thoughts inevitably creep in, try to linger a little longer in curiosity, try to recall that the opposite of abundance isn’t scarcity, it is ‘enough.’
Here are some questions to get you started on a little Work-Life Redesign based on your own ‘enough’ criteria:
What balancing variables do you want to experiment with more?
What imbalancing variables can you reduce, and by how much?
What will your life be like if you were willing to commit to these criteria?
What would be required of you?
What support do you want?
I recently re-watched the 2015 documentary MINIMALISM. The brilliance of the film is not its recommendation to “de-clutter” or get rid of everything to “fix” your life, but rather its encouragement to figure out what is enough for you, as a unique individual, to really know your basic ingredients and boundaries for a sustaining and fulfilling life.
Living up to someone else’s ‘enough’ criteria will never be as fulfilling as living up to your own, so after a year of proverbial whiplash, how about making 2021 the year you acknowledge and choose what is actually enough for YOU.
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