Several weeks ago, my husband and I met with an architect to articulate a vision for our family’s future home.

“A take on Nordic modern, with a warmer palette and loads of windows to maximize natural light…” we blathered with unqualified confidence.

The architect graciously replied, “Can you share some pictures with me?”

Of course, we had a few ready because we’d been geeking out on the idea of building a home for years, but it wasn’t until we were asked to share them that I realized just how undefined and incoherent our ‘good' ideas still were.

For ambitious, mid-career professionals, career transitions are complex, and over time, they can become quite disorienting and destabilizing. While we may do our best to make the optimal choice, our minds are often littered with questions and unknowns. We vacillate justifications around money, time, family, well-being, security, autonomy, etc. This messy mental state is related to what psychologists ‘cognitive dissonance’ - when your mind tries to reconcile two or more thoughts (or behaviors) that are inconsistent with your beliefs or values. So why does your smart brain launch into these mental gymnastics? And how can you outsmart it to minimize exhaustion?

I spent decades collecting some pretty strong beliefs about work, money, and professionalism.

My beliefs carried me (and a lot of people I know) pretty far, but at a certain point they stopped being helpful and they started complicating my career transitions.

In 2019, I finally figured out what it actually takes to make a successful career transition: getting really clear on your own definition of success.